House of Darkness (2022) is a horror movie directed by Neil LaBute. It deals with a man who goes home with a woman that hides a dark secret. Below is my House of Darkness (2022) movie review.
There is only one word that should be used to describe this movie and that is boring. The movie should be retitled to “The Talking”. For what is worth, the review spoils the very little plot in the movie.
When the movie starts we are introduced to two main characters. One is a shy, quirky, and even weird soft spoken woman. The other is a regular guy who can’t believe his luck in encountering this girl. He is separated and her old charming self comes off as refreshing to him.
For the first 45 min, nothing happens. The two main characters talk, the girl drops hints she is rich, and they make out. She is reserved but also teases him a lot. Not much else happens during this time. There is also tease that he is in trouble with a cop out but it never leads to anything significant.
We are also introduced to the quirky woman’s sister who is just as weird as her sister. She is cryptic and does not say much that is not mysterious. More like boring AND mysterious. The guy spends most of his time quipping and making small talk while this woman does not say much in return. Goes on for a while like this.
After the mentioned cop out, nothing really happens. Bear in mind at this point we have about 25 min left in the movie WITH credits. From this point on, and I kid you not, they tell ghost stories to each other. They tell stories about themselves disguised as just stories.
These stories are terrible with discussion of abuse, rape, and are overall thoroughly depressing. That’s the movie. The man puts a few pieces together and it ends exactly like you expect it to end. Nothing new, interesting, or memorable about this bland story.
This is a story for somebody who likes “spooky” stories with limited violence. Justin Long carried this movie. He rambles while the girls ask repetitive questions and gently smile at him. The dialogue is very boring. The setting, while interesting, is also dull as they never really show it well or use it in any interesting way. The story itself is horrible. It feels like there is some type of feminist message here but it could be just me.
Anyway, avoid this movie. I skipped through some scenes and missed nothing by doing that. Just look at any reviews online and you will see that nothing happens in this movie.
